HUNGRY (12 More Shades Of Skarsoul #14)

                     HUNGRY
  (12 More Shades Of Skarsoul #14)


We hear the clicking of the clock,
   counting off the day's you've been gone.
Seems like you're never coming back
   realize we miss seeing your face at dawn.

Can't Keep Holding On This Way -
Can't Keep Living Day To Day -
Can't You Hear Us When We Say -
We're Still. . .
Hungry -
For Your Touch.
Hungry -
Why'd It End This Way?
Hungry -
For Your Love.
Hungry -
Seems We Didn't Get Enough.

Your love changed the color of our heart,
   when "we" were eye to eye everything was clear.
So together as "we" fell apart,
   you never tried to stop it as it grew near.

Can't Keep Holding On This Way -
Can't Keep Living Day To Day -
Can't You Hear Us When We Say -
We're Still. . .
Hungry -
For Your Touch.
Hungry -
Why'd It End This Way?
Hungry -
For Your Love.
Hungry -
Seems We Didn't Get Enough.

We lie awake all night,
   we can't stop remembering.
Why didn't you try to make it right,
   we can't hold it on. . .

Hungry!

we hear the turning of the page. . .
we're just another chapter of wreckage. . .
hungry

Hungry -
For Your Touch.
Hungry -
Why'd It End This Way?
Hungry -
For Your Love.
Hungry -
Seems We Didn't Get Enough.

2016.01.31 @ 0525

Won't Go Away

            WON'T GO AWAY
 (12 More Shades Of Skarsoul #13)


Nothing seems to stop all the thoughts -
   and the pain attached to them,
      Still can't believe this is happening.
Nothing that we do can distract us -
   when we think of how you stabbed our back again,
      caused by all your words and actions.
We just took all the pain you gave us -
   and now realize once we broke free,
      we had taken your worst, and made it part of us.

(this won't go away)
(this can't go away)
And Now -
Your Damage Is A Part Of Us.
You'll Always Be Inside.
Your Hatred Is A Part Of Us.
You'll Always Be In Here.
We Can't Separate -
Our Self From What You've Done.
Giving All We Had To Give.
We Lost Our Self To You

Everyday all the memories come crashing in -
   we remember when it started happening,
      we see the truth behind all that happened then.
The thoughts form words with pain attached to them -
   and we know as we escaped from you,
      we were only escaping physically.
We don't regret "our" time and experiences -
   even saying that we realize,
      we have taken your hatred, and made it part of us.

(this won't go away)
(this can't go away)
And Now -
Your Damage Is A Part Of Us.
You'll Always Be Inside.
Your Hatred Is A Part Of Us.
You'll Always Be In Here.
We Can't Separate -
Our Self From What You've Done.
Giving All We Had To Give.
We Lost Our Self To You

(never go away)
(can't go away)
everything breaks down to memories of (you)
we tried to hold it in, now we try to let (go)
you let "us" go, then walked away from (us)

(this won't go away)
(this can't go away)
Even Though -
You Have Walked Away From "Us".
You'll Always Be Inside.
You Have Walked Away From "Us".
You'll Always Be In Here.
We Can't Separate -
Our Self From What You've Done.
Giving All We Had To Give.
We Lost Our Self To You


2017.01.30 @ 1225

12 Shades Of Skarsoul

12 SHADES OF SKARSOUL



01:  WAIT
02: TERRIFIED
03: FALLEN APART
04: SOMEONE
05: ROTTING INSIDE
06: DOWN
07: TAKE A WALK. . . ON THE MOON
08: AGAIN
09: GOODBYE
10: CONTROL
11: ORDINARY GIRL

12: WE FALL, WE STAND

01:  WAIT


Something's wrong -
Trying to conquer these fears,
   that we thought were gone.
And it's been so long -
We’re trying to live in a world,
   where we just don't belong.


We Can't Wait For Someone To Hear Us,
And Wait For Someone To Touch Us.
And Wait Forever To Be Told,
You’re Not Forever Alone.


We Can't Wait For Someone To Feel Us,
And Wait For Someone To Heal Us.
And Wait Forever To Be Told,
You’re Not Forever Alone.


On our own -
She has shown us,
   what it means to be alone.
And the tears -
She doesn’t think a man should cry,
   wash away the scars of our disguise.


We Can't Wait For Someone To Hear Us,
And Wait For Someone To Touch Us.
And Wait Forever To Be Told,
You’re Not Forever Alone.


We Can't Wait For Someone To Feel Us,
And Wait For Someone To Heal Us.
And Wait Forever To Be Told,
You’re Not Forever Alone.


forever alone.
forever Now.
forever alone.


We, We Waited All That Time For Her.


We Can't Wait For Someone To Hear Us,
And Wait For Someone To Touch Us.
And Wait Forever To Be Told,
You’re Not Forever Alone.


We Can't Wait For Someone To Feel Us,
And Wait For Someone To Heal Us.
And Wait Forever To Be Told,
You’re Not Forever Alone.


2017.01.28 @ 0209
[top]







02: TERRIFIED


Last night we dreamt that you were dead.
The only way we could find to clear you from our head.
We find it hard for to get past all the shit you did to “us”,
And every night we try in vain to get our mind right.


All Day -
We Feel So Terrified.
So Sick Of Being This Way.
Remembering “Our” Loves Suicide
All Night
We Feel So Dead Inside.


Guess Some things are better left alone,
Left out of sight and mind, never to be told.
We find it harder to express the feelings we just don’t want to see,
But we, have been waiting for days to get our mind back.


All Day -
We Feel So Terrified.
So Sick Of Being This Way.
Remembering “Our” Loves Suicide
All Night
We Feel So Dead Inside.


Some tell us wait, taking time will get us through,
Should've known you'd things to hide by look in your eyes.
We can hear all your words so loud,
And we finally understand the feeling of uncertainty that you sowed.


All Day -
We Feel So Terrified.
So Sick Of Being This Way.
Remembering “Our” Loves Suicide
All Night
We Feel So Dead Inside.
Struggling Through All This Shit
We Just Can’t Control.


2017.01.28 @ 0220
[top]







03: FALLEN APART


So you returned to the way,
   to lessen all your pain.
What you'd give to be happy again,
   for even just one day.
And as we search to find the words,
   to let you know we can relate.
We realize all your faults,
   were never our mistakes.


Now As Everything Has Fallen Apart.
We Add More Ink To Hide Heart Scars.
And Everything Ended The Way It Started.
We Just Want Someone To Belong.


As everything crashes down on you,
  could this be the time you finally change?
All the wreckage in your past and present
  and you knew as you were doing it.
Or was this more wasted of time,
  another dream going up in flames.
And now that we’ve felt your fire,
  we'll never be the same.


Now As Everything Has Fallen Apart.
We Add More Ink To Hide Heart Scars.
And Everything Ended The Way It Started.
We Just Want Someone To Belong.


All your life,
  you've done nothing but hide from yourself.
(over and over again)
All our life,
  we've done nothing but lie to our self.
(over and over again)


2017.01.28 @ 0242<
[top]







04: SOMEONE


And if “we” could make up,
  for every single time you lied.
We'd probably whisper this,
  hello, come home.
And so healing begins again,
  harder each and every time.
We start to reminisce,
  we never seem to ever find . . .


Someone We Can Trust.
Someone To Believe.
Someone Who Will Never Try,
To Bring Us To Our Knees.
Someday We May Find Again,
Someone Just Like Us.
Someone Who Will Take The Time,
To Truly Understanding.


And if “we” could make up,
  for every tear you cried.
We'd probably never miss,
   you in our arms.
We never could understand,
   why your mistakes were on repeat.
“We” went through this so many times,
  we never seem to ever find . . .


Someone We Can Trust.
Someone To Believe.
Someone Who Will Never Try,
To Bring Us To Our Knees.
Someday We May Find Again,
Someone Just Like Us.
Someone Who Will Take The Time,
To Truly Understanding.


and we've stopped searching.
to find the reason and the rhyme.
of why we couldn’t work.
we believe this was just meant to be.
and we just need to let you go


And if you could make up,
  for every time you lied.
You would hear us whisper this
  we never seem to ever find . . .


2017.01.28 @ 0330
[top]







05: ROTTING INSIDE


Once upon a time,
  we gave the world to you -
     but we and it was not enough.
You swore it was love,
  but you could never tell the truth -
     that's when we started reflecting back at you.


You’re Rotting Inside.
So Weak And So Frightened.
Of The Things In Your Mind.
We’re Rotting Inside.
So Weak And So Frightened.
Of The Things In Our Mind.


What could “we” do,
  to make everything alright -
     and would you leave us again?
Like you always did,
  like you said you’d never would -
     and would end up reflecting back at you.


and though we try -
we can't forget -
the way you looked at us and said . . .


“You’re Rotting Inside.”
“So Weak And So Frightened.”
“Of The Things In Your Mind.”
“I’m Rotting Inside.”
“I’m So Weak And So Frightened.”
“Of The Things You Will Find In My Mind.”


2017.01.28 @ 0400
[top]







06: DOWN


We -
Wonder what the day will bring -
Tomorrow if we wake.
Why -
Do we continue to dwell upon -
All the mistakes “we” made.
Maybe -
We're just afraid, so we try
We try to find the words to explain


We try to find the words to explain -
Why we feel so down.


Don't -
Ask why we don’t care -
About the world outside.
One -
More time going into the darkness -
The darkness of our own mind.
Who -
Knows why it went this way, still we try
We still try to find the words to explain


We try to find the words to explain -
Why we feel so down.


So -
We revel in this pain -
And like a sub just try to breath.
But -
We just can’t find the release -
Or the conversion that we need.
Why -
Are we so dissatisfied -
And why do we reach out to you, why do we try
Why do we try to find the words to explain


We try to find the words to explain -
Why we feel so down.


2017.01.28 @ 0603
[top]







07: TAKE A WALK. . . ON THE MOON


Every time
we think our life,
  couldn’t get any stranger.
We need to find a way,
  to get this monkey off our back.
Sometimes we find that need,
  to lock away our heart.
And burn the bridges that,
  we are still standing on.
Sometimes we need to live and let be.


It Would Be Nice To Take A Walk On The Moon Again


So once again we wake up to late,
  to see the truth and our danger.
And when we finally found,
  the strength to get you off our back.
We saw our dream dying,
  and released it to it’s fate.
And wondered how your love,
  had become such burning hate.
Sometimes we have to burn to be free.


It Would Be Nice To Take A Walk On The Moon Again


for days now we waited. . .
for the light to shine . . .
shine down on us . . .
the moon is just the sun at night . . .


2017.01.29 @ 0815
[top]







08: AGAIN


As we ponder our
Thoughts and fears in life
We are tempted to throw everything away
So we sit and we
Slowly lose our mind
Searching for signs of you
Just to feel it again


Need To Find Our Way Back Home Again
The Place Where We Can Be Whole Again
Leave The World Behind And Start With You Again
Again


As we gather our self
We know that we
Would if we could throw it all away
So we sit and we
Watch the world pass us by
Searching for signs of you
Just to feel it again


Need To Find Our Way Back Home Again
The Place Where We Can Be Whole Again
Leave The World Behind And Start With You Again
Again


Another lonely day
As the sunlight burns away
We’re calling out to you
Calling out to say
We miss you and “us”
As we’re searching for signs
Just to feel it again.


Need To Find Our Way Back Home Again
The Place Where We Can Be Whole Again
Leave The World Behind And Start With You Again
Again


2017.01.29 @ 0935
[top]







09: GOODBYE




Hollow -
Seems the stars in the sky
Where our dreams they seem to
Follow -
Shadows in the walls of our mind
And these thoughts they seem so
Shallow -


Still can't make sense of this
Delivered to confusion from bliss
Suffered so long and we miss
Feeling alive


So -
We’re Scared To Say Goodbye
Even Though We've Had Enough
Of Your Sickness And Your Lies
All Your Cold And Heartless Words
When You're Slowly Coming Undone
No -
We Won't Be With You
We Won’t Be Able To Stop Your Fall
When You Feel What We Feel
When You’ve Finally Lost It All
Call -


Find -
We're searching for a place
That may never again exist and we’re
Blind -
To sense and reason and the echo’s
Of your words bouncing in our
Mind-


Still can't make sense of this
Delivered to confusion from bliss
Suffered so long and we miss
Feeling alive


So -
We’re Scared To Say Goodbye
Even Though We've Had Enough
Of Your Sickness And Your Lies
All Your Cold And Heartless Words
When You're Slowly Coming Undone
No -
We Won't Be With You
We Won’t Be Able To Stop Your Fall
When You Feel What We Feel
When You’ve Finally Lost It All
Call -


Ok -
We’re Not ok without you
But we need to turn this page
Grey -
The 50 shades of hurt you gave
And trying to forgive what you did to
Play -


Still can't make sense of this
Delivered to confusion from bliss
Suffered so long and we miss
Feeling alive


But -
We’re Scared To Say Goodbye
Even Though We've Had Enough
Of Your Sickness And Your Lies
All Your Cold And Heartless Words
When You're Slowly Coming Undone
No -
We Won't Be With You
We Won’t Be Able To Stop Your Fall
When You Feel What We Feel
When You’ve Finally Lost It All
Call -


.2017.01.29 @ 1615<
[top]











10: CONTROL


Trapped inside
A world inside our head
A place where we think too much
A place where you can’t touch
The Godz have forsaken us
And though we don't pray we should


We Want To Thank You
For The Tears We've Cried
And The Hope You Gave Us
We Want To Show You
What We Should Have Given
And The Take Control As Your D.


And all the times
You left us behind
To feed your need
Forced to look at this mess
We never wanted to believe
The things that said to us


We Want To Thank You
For The Tears We've Cried
And The Hope You Gave Us
We Want To Show You
What We Should Have Given
And The Take Control As Your D.


Lining up the bottles
To try and drown our grief
We held on to dreams so long
And then you came crashing through
We thought we had done everything right
And then you proved that we were wrong


But We Want To Thank You
For The Tears That We Have Cried
And The Hope You Gave Us
And The Dream You Let Die
We Want To Show You
What We Should Have Given
And The Take Control As Your D.


2017.01.29 @ 1635
[top]







11: ORDINARY GIRL


Wait,
  there is so much on our mind.
Was it real,
  or were you just passing time?
These questions,
  awake and screaming in our head.
All these questions. . .


Now, What We Would Give
What We Would Try . . .
If You Had Been An Ordinary Girl
What We Would Give Again, If Only . . .
You Could Be An Ordinary Girl


Stop,
  “we” weren’t happy anymore
Why did you,
  bring heartache and anger to the core?
Now we have nothing,
  inside our heart to share.
Now we are nothing . . .


Now, What We Would Give
What We Would Try . . .
If You Had Been An Ordinary Girl
What We Would Give Again, If Only . . .
You Could Be An Ordinary Girl


Now,
  it doesn't seem to matter to you.
The being alone,
  you’ve already moved on again.
Is it true passion,
  or are you again just passing time?
You only know  how to pass time . . .


Now, What We Would Give
What We Would Try . . .
If You Had Been An Ordinary Girl
What We Would Give Again, If Only . . .
You Could Be An Ordinary Girl


2017.01.29 @ 1730
[top]







12: WE FALL, WE STAND


Sometimes we feel like we’ve lost it all
abused and beat down and thrown to the wall
how could you do this to someone at all?
something so awful
woke up this morning we hoped and we prayed
nothing can save “us”, we can’t see a way
if we could have anything that we want
why does this have to be?


We Gain, We Lose, We Fall
We Dust Off And Stand Again
We Gain, We Lose And We Fall
We Dust Off And Stand Again
We Can Be Anything We Want To Be
Lost Our Self In Your World
“We” Came Together And Fell Apart, “We” Stood . .
“We” Fell . . .


We can see clearly the crack in your soul
Always using something to patch up the hole
If you need someone to reach for, when you need to be consoled
Just call our name . . .
You’ve been searching for so long inside
A meaningful calling that your heart can't deny
All we wanted was to make it on “our” own
How could this happen again?


We Gain, We Lose, We Fall
We Dust Off And Stand Again
We Gain, We Lose And We Fall
We Dust Off And Stand Again
We Can Be Anything We Want To Be
Lost Our Self In Your World
“We” Came Together And Fell Apart, “We” Stood . .
“We” Fell . . .


Wish “we” could see the light
Wish for no more darkness
Wish “we” were still alive


2017.01.29 @ 1800
[top]

FEEL LIKE NOTHING

       Feel Like Nothing


Can't let you go but we don't,
   want to be haunted by you anymore.
We can’t be sure we even know,
   just what we’re fight for.
We knew that you were scarred,
   and you knew that we were too.

And if you’re happy now that "we" went away
Think of this one question . . .

Why Do We Feel Like We Were Nothing To You,
Why Does It Feel True?
Was All Our Efforts For Nothing,
Was Our Love Nothing To You?
So What If Your Actions Made Us Angry,
What Else Could We Do?
We Told You That We Loved You,
And That Doesn't Mean Nothing To Us.

It wasn't always Hard for "us",
   it seems that "we" didn't work enough.
"Our" hard heads and foolish pride,
   always telling "us" the other was wrong.
We heard you say, you'd never go,
   but then you always would.

And if you’re happy now that "we" went away
Think of this one question . . .

Why Do We Feel Like We Were Nothing To You,
Why Does It Feel True?
Was All Our Efforts For Nothing,
Was Our Love Nothing To You?
So What If Your Actions Made Us Angry,
What Else Could We Do?
We Told You That We Loved You,
And That Doesn't Mean Nothing To Us.

And part of us somehow thinks,
   "we" could somehow fix "us"
"We" could start again, keep "us" going,
    become stronger through the working.
It would only take twelve steps a day,
   it make "us" stronger in every way.

And if you’re happy now that "we" went away
Think of this one question . . .

Why Do We Feel Like We Were Nothing To You,
Why Does It Feel True?
Was All Our Efforts For Nothing,
Was Our Love Nothing To You?
So What If Your Actions Made Us Angry,
What Else Could We Do?
We Told You That We Loved You,
And That Doesn't Mean Nothing To Us.

why do we feel like nothing without you?


2017.01.27 @ 0350

Oh. . . We Dreamed

      Oh . . . We Dreamed


as the tears slowly drown us
thinking too much
loves death surrounds us
hell and heaven is all that we see

feel so pale and slightly wild
love and hate unreconciled
house to home without a smile

Screaming at “Our” Karma
Your Party Style Of Living
What You Did Has Killed “Us”
You Could Have Stopped But Were Unwilling

at the end we hesitated
but “the pain” jumped up
like it was always waiting
ready to do it's educating

your unknown and unspoken sins
would creep inside our subconscious mind
couldn’t live with or without you

You’d Feel The Demons Coming
Start Your Itching And Your Bitching
You’d Disappear For Several Days
To Take Care Of Your Twitching

should we blame it on our karmic curse
or just scream at the universe
your story lines
were all so well rehearsed

we let you suck us in, and drag us down
to the point we were knocked to the ground
and even now we’d let you back in

Screaming At “Our” Karma
Your Party Style Of Living
What You Did Has Killed “Us”
You Could Have Stopped But were Unwilling

did you ever feel our love,
did you ever return the love
we dreamed
oh. . . we dreamed


2017.01.26 @ 1800