. . . So Much For Our Happy Ending

             -  HAPPY  ENDING  -
                 (so much for our)


SO MUCH FOR OUR HAPPY ENDING. . .


"We" can't talk this over,
   'cos it was all in our head.
It something in us,
   what was it you said?
Just leave us hanging,
   With all the dreams dead.
You were all the things we'd waited for -
& all we thought we'd need.
You Were Everything,
    Everything That We Needed.
"We" Were Meant To Be,
    Supposed To Be,
        "We" Were Fated.
Now All These Memories,
    Painfully,
        Just Won't Fade Away.
All The Time You Were Pretending -
So Much For Our Happy Ending.


We now know,
  you led a dual life.
And all of "our" talks,
  what makes a good wife.
All the things you hid from us,
  all the shit you put "us" through.
You were all the things we'd waited for -
& all we thought we'd need.
You Were Everything,
    Everything That We Needed.
"We" Were Meant To Be,
    Supposed To Be,
        "We" Were Fated.
Now All These Memories,
    Painfully,
        Just Won't Fade Away.
All The Time You Were Pretending -
So Much For Our Happy Ending.


It's Nice To Think You Were There -
Thanks For Acting Like You Cared -
For Making Us Feel You Were "The One" -
It's Nice To Think We Had It All -
Thanks For Pushing Us To "The Fall" -
And Laughing As We Come Undone
you were everything,
everything that we needed.
"we" were meant to be,
supposed to be,
"we" were fated.
now all these memories,
painfully,
just won't fade away.
and all that time you were pretending -
so much for our happy ending.




2012.06.29 @ 0348

The Beat Of Her Heart

THE BEAT OF HER HEART


    [.that night we ran.]
It's the worst thing
    that we have ever done.
There's a 'dark passenger'
    that is a part of us.
And he's screaming
    for control.
There's a soul
    for which we're yearning,
unavailable
    beyond a doubt.
We feel the beat of her heart.


    [.ignore the crime.]
Because when we're in love
    we can be truly blind.
We’ve got to try -
    'cos in the future
        all we're gonna do is die.
The 'dark passenger'
    that is part of us.
Is screaming
    LET ME OUT !
'Cos that soul
    for which we're yearning,
        could be ours without a doubt.
We feel the beat of her heart.


    [.tonight we run.]
We can't hide in the dark
    and forget the things
        that "we" had done.
The 'dark passanger'
    that lives inside us.
Is screaming
    YOU'RE A FOOL !
'Cos the soul
    for which we're yearning,
        is gone without a doubt.
Love is a violent whisper.
    and "the pain" always gets to us . . .


'Cos of the beat of her heart.

2012.06.29 @ 0325

Once Around The Ride

   ONCE AROUND THE RIDE

See us, feel us,
 come and touch us.
The way we touch you,
 you feel the crossfire, live wire.
You said maybe,
 we said maybe won't do.
The hands of time are ticking by.
Dust to dust, no second try.
We're only goin'
Once around the ride,
We're only goin'
Once around the ride

Live hard, be hard,
 be a little crazy.
Live a little loose,
 we've nothin' to lose.
Can't wait forever,
 cause our life may be through.
The hands of time are ticking by.
Dust to dust, no second try.
We're only goin'
Once around the ride,
We're only goin'
Once around the ride

Dust to dust, no second try
We're only goin'
Once around the ride

2012.06.27 @  1158

won't be long

 - Won't Be Long -

We think it's time to say,
    we're waiting on a day.
When nobody comes
    to trample our feelings.
We have so little time,
    to say what's on our mind.
Sure took it's sweet time
    but the changes have come.

And it won't be long -
    when everything "we've" said,
Won't sit around and pile up
    with the traffic in our head.
When we wake up,
    we want see you in our arms -
In the tangle of sheets
    "we" left lying there.
It won't be wrong.
It won't feel wrong . . .

One of these nights,
    with your company we'll find.
We won't be inclined
    to leave before sunrise.
Our eyes, our mouth,
    our hands, our head.
All tell us that
 no one else will do.

And it won't be long -
    when everything "we've" said,
Won't sit around and pile up
    with the traffic in our head.
When we wake up,
    want to see you in our button down -
We'd thrown on the floor
    by your bed.
It won't be wrong.
It won't feel wrong . . .

2012.06.27 @ 0430

Your Morning After

- Your Morning After -

You think unkindly,
  about most men,
    know what we mean.
Think we're deliberately,
  trying to please.
It's what you deserve,
  so we're here tonight.
You won't confuse us,
  with somebody else.
The woman in the mirror,
  needs to take care of herself.
You've got the looks,
  humor and you're sweet,
    but you don't see.
We'll be gone for a short time,
  if it's wrong or right.

We'll Be Your Morning After.

You think no way,
  that we could be,
    the one of your dreams
We know we'll be your,
  one of my kind.
You're on our mind,
  baby, all the time
Holding you close,
  lady, late in the night
We're just what you need,
  won't you give it a try
Don't put up a fight,
  it's gonna be alright,
   can't you see
We'll be for a short time,
 if it's wrong or right

We'll Be Your Morning After

2012.06.27 @ 0345

If Only For Tonight . . .

   IF ONLY FOR TONIGHT . . .

if only for tonight
 "we" could sleep in a bed of flowers.
if only for tonight
 "we" could make love for hours.
if only for tonight
 "we" could fall into an endless spell.
if only for tonight
 we could know that all would be well.
And Breathe
And Breathe . . .

if only for tonight
 our angel could come.
if only for tonight
 her eyes said "you're the one".
if only for tonight
 we could bury "the fear" deep.
if only for tonight
 we could have real sleep.
And Dream Too
And Dream Too . . .

and the rain could sigh
and "our" fears could slip away
and the wind would cry
don't let this end . . .

2012.06.26 @ 0125

undone

  - undone -

our,
resurrected dream,
made of breath and skin,
we've been waiting for you.
the words of our heart tattoo,
the present of you,
was created for us.
fears,
replays and déjà vu,
like a haunting tune,
we haven't heard for so long.
thrill,
is it something real,
this magic we feel,
from your fingers.
we can't seem to keep
  from falling apart
    (at the seams)
we can't believe
  you've holding our hearts
    (shattered pieces)What do you need,
Who do you love,
Watch us come undone . . .
lost,
in your star filled eyes,
music in the air,
cuddled on the mountain.
life,
seems to never be fair,
you know this too,
some scars are on the inside.
oh,
'we' have no time,
but the real crime,
is we don't want to leave now.
we,
have to try,
to stay blind,
keep the hope & fear outside.
we can't seem to keep
  from falling apart
    (at the seams)
we can't believe
  you've holding our hearts
    (shattered pieces)What do you need,
Who do you love,
Watch us come undone . . .

 2012.06.23 @ 0430

Bleed Us Dry

  -  Bleed Us Dry  -

well, our friend,
we feel it's time
to reassess "our" relation
and figure out what's real . . .
every time we feel so blind
you have no consideration
for the way we feel inside
and you just look at us
as a way to pass time
how could we, how could we
let our heart get out of hand?

Don't Bleed Us Dry.
Don't Bleed Us,
Please Don't Bleed Us
Don't Bleed Us Dry.

you, our friend,
could be so kind
but without hesitation
you have passed us by . . .
and you have told us
you're not like the rest
What's the use, there's no point
in building on sand

Don't Bleed Us Dry.
Don't, Don't, Don't Bleed Us
Don't Bleed Us Dry.
Don't, Don't Bleed, Don't Bleed Us,
Don't Bleed Us Dry.

Well our friend,
we feel it's time . . .

so much for a fortunate friendship . . .

2012.06.15 @ 0400 (EDT)

Seduction

   -  SEDUCTION  -

Here "we" are, the two of "us" alone,
The passions high, this feels anything but wrong,
You need a lover, and baby so do we,
Seductions burning deep inside . . .

we hold you close,
And feel your heart beating,
For oh so long, our secret fantasy,
An element of danger -
Don't care about the price we'll pay . . .
Can't fight this . . .

(Seduction . . ..)
Now we've crossed into the danger zone,
(Seduction . . ..)
You make it so hard to say no,
(Seduction . . ..)
You should have left a good thing alone . . .

Not it's not to late,
To turn and walk away,
It's getting harder,
The longer that you stay,
Don't drag this out girl,
Please turn your pretty head and walk away,
You've drivin' us insane . . .

can't fight this,
(Seduction . . . )
Well we're in the danger zone,
(Seduction . . . )
You made it impossible to say no,
(Seduction . . . )
You couldn't leave a good thing alone,
(Seduction . . . )
Cause we both now this is wrong,
(Seduction . . . )
Please turn your head and walk away,
(Seduction . . . )
It's getting harder the longer you stay,
(Seduction . . . )
Ohhh don't lead us on, don't lead us on,
(Seduction . . . )
Cause you've drivin' us insane,
(Seduction . . . )
We give in, we give in,
(Seduction . . . )
You're our secret fantasy . . .

2012.06.12 @ 0345 (EDT)

Dreamer

   - DREAMER -

Running from the attack -
 feel love Is never coming back.
and every time there's sunshine -
 we're blind.
we'd think about tomorrow -
 if we could just make it through today.
letting go is easy -
 to say.

we must be just a dreamer
and love is just a shooting star
just a foolish dreamer

we are feeling number -
 and the numbness increases by degree's.
whenever the southern wind blows -
 we just cry, why?
We hope for a better tomorrow -
 and that we never see another today
lock it up and throw it away -
 forever

we must be just a dreamer
and love is just a shooting star
we're just a foolish dreamer
but dreams can only take us so far

running from the attack -
 feel our heart is never coming back
but maybe that was sunshine -
 that we saw.
we've sung about the rainbow -
 and what it means to dead dreams.
we think we must crazy -
 crazy 'cause we see . . .

we are just a dreamer
chasing after shooting stars
such a foolish dreamer
even though they cause heart scars
we are just a dreamer
we shouldn't always have to cry
we're such a foolish dreamer
'cause dreams do nothing but die.

2012.06.12 @ 0001 (EDT)

There's A Rainbow (in the dark)

THERE'S A RAINBOW (in the dark)
            "Somewhere over the rainbow..."

Daylight, like any other day.
Alright, time to play the game.
Daydreamed,  for years it seemed.
Waiting,  for things to go our way.
IN THE DARK-
 THERE'S A RAINBOW.
OTHER SIDE,
 WHERE THE DREAMS GO TO DIE.
IN THE DARK-
 THERE'S A RAINBOW.
OTHER SIDE-
 THAT'S WHERE THE DREAMS GO
  WHEN THEY DIE.

Hold tight, waiting for the day.
Forgetting, you have to play "the game".
Wasted,  those years it seems.
Watching,  our dreams go away.
IN THE DARK-
 THERE'S A RAINBOW.
OTHER SIDE,
 WHERE THE DREAMS GO TO DIE.
IN THE DARK-
 THERE'S A RAINBOW.
OTHER SIDE-
 THAT'S WHERE THE DREAMS GO
  WHEN THEY DIE.

Chasing, shadows all day.
Ignoring,  society's game.
No time,  we've run out it seems.
Knowing,  our chances have gone by.
IN THE DARK-
 THERE'S A RAINBOW.
OTHER SIDE,
 WHERE THE DREAMS GO TO DIE.
IN THE DARK-
 THERE'S A RAINBOW.
OTHER SIDE-
 THAT'S WHERE-
 THAT'S WHERE THE DREAMS GO-

THAT'S WHERE THE DREAMS GO
 WHEN THEY.
 THAT'S WHERE THE DREAMS GO
 WHEN THEY DIE.


2012.05.10 @ 0210 (EDT)

we quit

         -   WE QUIT   -

we -
want to be more then friends.
and we -
feel her heart won't come around.
we -
know it all depends on,
her -
touching hearts with us.
but -
we quit, we give up,
  seems we're not good enough for her,
  it seems . . .
and we quit, we give up,
  nothing we do is good enough for her,
  it seems . . .
     that being alone is,
     the safe way to be.
     when we're by our self,
     it's the best place to be.
     when we're all alone,
     it's the safe way to be.
     if we're by our self,
     she can't say . . .
     goodbye.

we -
see it was all transitory.
and we -
don't think she'll ever come around.
we -
know it all depends on,
her -
believing in "us".
but -
we quit, we give up,
  seems we're not good enough for her,
  it seems . . .
and we quit, we give up,
  nothing we do is good enough for her,
  it seems . . .
     that being alone is,
     the safe way to be.
     when we're by our self,
     it's the best place to be.
     when we're all alone,
     it's the safe way to be.
     if we're by our self,
     she can't say . . .
     goodbye.

we -
were a part of the circle of friends.
and we -
wanted so much more . . .


2012.05.10 @ 0130 (EDT)

Watch Us Bleed

            - watch us bleed -

Heaven came to us, yet we still wait
But we know we're getting nowhere
And all the deeds of yesterday
Have really helped to pave our way

Though she's not near us now
How come she can still touch us
See the torture on our brow
Relates to neither here or now

Watch us bleed
Bleed forever

Although our face is straight, it lies
Our body feels 'The Pain' and cries
Here, our heart is laid bare
We are full but feeling empty

For all the warmth we feel so cold
For one so young we feel so old
What's left of us when the angel
Replaces love with 'The Hurting' ?

Watch us bleed
Bleed forever

It's not allowed to be unkind
But still 'The Pain' lives in our mind
We'll make no noise we won't complain
By closing our eyes we'll hide our pain

We lie awake and take the blame
And try to tell Our self we are living
And when it's all been said or done
Where do we go, where do we run ?

Watch us bleed
Bleed forever

2012.05.09 @ 0545 (EDT)

Dance On Our Own

   -- DANCE ON OUR OWN --

To all who have broke our heart.
To all who will break our heart.
We want you so bad -
We want you that way -
We want you once more -
We don't know what to do.
We don't know what to say.
You all drove us mad -
Then you drove us wild -
Then you drove us to -
Oh ho - oh no,
 we're happy dancin' dancin'
  to dance on our own.
Oh ho - oh no,
 we're happy dancin' dancin'
  we're sane on our own.

Gonna dance until we drop.
Gonna dance 'cos we can't stop.
Love makes us twist and shout -
Love makes us spin around -
We wanta feel it once more -
We don't care if we cry.
When we see loves fire die.
'Cos love makes us wild -
'Cos love makes us mad -
And we want it once more -
Oh ho - oh no,
 we're happy dancin' dancin'
  to dance on our own.
Oh ho - oh no,
 we aren't content to just
  dance on our own.

( DANCIN' WITH OURSELF )

2012.06.07 @ 0330 (EDT)

Spark In Our Heart II

   - SPARK IN OUR HEART II -

Your fate -
 belongs to no one.
You must live life for us.
Don't let her stumbling blocks

 trip us up.
Johnnie, you're crazy -
 why don't you understand?
That you've got to be yourself -
 be your own man.
‘Cos There's -
Nowhere To Run To -
Nowhere To Hide.
We Must Finally Stop -
Finding Reasons To "Ride"
  This Life Is Our Own -
  So We Must Start -
  To Look To No One -
  For The Spark In Our Heart.

Making -
 this decision.
You're finally moving on.
Don't think you're missing out -
 because she is gone.
Johnnie don't be so crazy -
 just try to understand.
You can be content -
 Without our golden path.
‘Cos We Got -
No One To Hold On To -
And Nothing To Hide.
We Can Finally Stop -
Our Senseless "Ride".
  This Life Is Our Own -
  So We Must Start -
  To Look To No One -
  For The Spark In Our Heart.

( Remember - There's A Rainbow in the dark)

2012.06.05 @ 0030 (EDT)

Skarsoul speaks to johnnie-oh

wake us up inside

          - wake us up inside -

how can we hide our eyes -
 - they're open doors
 - into our soul
we've become so numb -
 - without our dream
 - our spirit sleeping somewhere cold
until we find a way -
 - to cross the dark rainbow
 - to lead the dream back home
we must -
wake us up inside -
save the dream -
save us from the dark -
before we try to run -
before we come undone -
save us from the nothing we've become.

now that we know what we're without -
 - the open wound's
 - gaping red.
we can't just leave us -
 - greaving like this
 - breathing like it's our last breath
yet somehow we feel -
 - that this is all that's
 - ever going to be real
we must -
wake us up inside -
save the dream -
save us from the dark -
before we try to run -
before we come undone -
save us from the nothing we've become.

in all this time we can't believe -
 - we couldn't see
 - kept in the dark
yet it was right in front of us -
 - we've cried a thousand tears
 - and opened our heart to everything
without a thought, voice or, soul -
 - "we" let "us" die
 - that and nothing more
we must -
wake us up inside -
save the dream -
save us from the dark -
before we try to run -
before we come undone -
save us from the nothing we've become.

2012.06.04 @ 0330 (EDT)

'Reckless' & 'With You'

-   RECKLESS   - We said not a single word But she wouldn't have even heard Most times we scream alone It's always worse at night When darkness kills the light We're in a danger zone We wait with pounding heart We know it's just the start Cos We're Reckless, Crash And Burn Reckless, Willing To Learn Reckless, The Circle Still Turns We're Reckless Living inside our mind Who knows the hell we'll find Just dead dreams and the rainbow But here's the funny thing The more we feel the sting We just go were the southern wind blows We've been this way before One step and we're through the door And We're Reckless, Trying To Burn Reckless, The Circle Will Turn Reckless, Willing To Learn We're Reckless. 2012.06.02 @ 0230

- WITH YOU  - WE WOKE UP FROM THE DREAM TODAY IN A COLD SWEAT PANIC           { watch the rainbow through the door } FORGOT ALL THE YESTERDAY’S AND REMEMBER TO STOP THE PRETEND           { that love can be real anymore } THE COPPER TASTE OF HYPOCRISY FEELING THE WAKE OF OUR SIMPLE MISTAKE           { to slow to react } SHE CLAIMS TO BE CLOSEST TO US BUT SHE’S THE MOST DISTANT           { the golden path is never coming back } IT’S TRUE - WE WANTED IT. THE PROMISES SHE VOICED. THE SOUNDNESS OF THE CHOICE. IMPRINTED ON OUR MEMORIES. WITH YOU. AND - NOW WE SEE           { should have kept it all inside } AND - NOW WE SEE           { even when we close our eyes } IT HIT, AND THEN HIT BACK WE FALL TO THE FLOOR           { hope our heart stays still } THE FINE LINE BETWEEN THAT AND PAIN WHEN EVERYTHING’S NOT RIGHT           { try to pretend the past isn’t real } NOW TRAPPED BY THE MEMORIES FEELING THE WAKE OF OUR SIMPLE MISTAKE           { still slow to react } FOR SOMEONE SO CLOSE TO US SHE’S STILL TOO DISTANT           { and the path will never be back } IT’S TRUE - WE WANTED IT. THE PROMISES SHE VOICED. THE SOUNDNESS OF THE CHOICE. IMPRINTED ON OUR MEMORIES. WITH YOU. AND - NOW WE SEE           { should have kept it all inside } AND - NOW WE SEE           { even when we close our eyes } 2012.06.02 @ 0340

Don't Be Afraid (of your heart)

                                           - DON'T BE AFRAID -
                                                ( of your heart )

When "we're" alone -    there are no distractions. Take it off -    the mask that hides your feelings. We're not letting up -    ‘till you unleash all your emotions. We'll be here waiting - Got love, if you want it - Ah . . . just take it as it comes -     ( as it comes ) Touch By Touch - Little By Little. We'll Unchain Your Mind. Don't Be Afraid Of Your Heart. Take Our Hand - Little By Little. We'll Break Down Your Walls - Don't Be Afraid Of Your Heart.

In the day -    you hide what you're feeling. But in your eyes -    you can't hide from us. Rising up -    your wounds will start healing. We'll be here waiting - Got love, if you want it - Ah . . . just take it as it comes -     ( as it comes ) Touch By Touch - Nibble By Nibble. We'll Unchain Your Mind. Don't Be Afraid Of Your Heart. Take Our Hand - Little By Little. We'll Break Down Your Walls - Don't Be Afraid Of Your Heart. From our heart - to yours - Life is what "we" make it - "We'll" find "our" way - Won't need words to say - Touch By Touch - Nibble By Nibble. We'll Unchain Your Mind. Don't Be Afraid Of Your Heart. Take Our Hand - Little By Little. We'll Break Down Your Walls - Just Don't Be Afraid Of Your Heart.

2012.06.02 @ 0300

'Winter Kill II', '2.5' & 'III'

- WINTER KILL II -           ( intro ) once upon a time - we drank a little wine. with an american princess, -in the dark hours off the morning.         -={*}=- We sat by the lake, and stared at the reeds in the water. The ice was fast and hard, with water colors swirled throughout its surface. The reeds where bent and dry in the grip of their own, WINTER KILL. we looked at our heart and the criss crossed scars that are on it. Our love grows way to fast, than drains away like pink champagne at night. We sat alone and cried in the grip of our own, WINTER KILL. We've found that love, is such a violent whisper. It soars up and then dies like sunsets seen from across the ocean. They always take our love and then they leave us in the grip of the WINTER KILL. 2012.06.01 @ 0230	- WINTER KILL 2.5 - This is the winterkill our greatest fear. This is the winterkill oh so clear. This is the winterkill another scar for our heart. This is the winterkill as we fall apart. we wished never again to feel like this returning pain like it was something we missed. { & we wish that we didn’t feel. } all the reasons we’re back to this. we just - gave ourself away. thinking we’d found our angel. gave it all away - and we are still Matsu Tenshi. 2012.06.01 @ 0245
- WINTER KILL III -
This is our Winter kill This is our greatest fear This is our Winter kill This time all to clear This is our Winter kill This is our pain filled heart This is our Winter kill This is us falling apart And we wish we didn't feel. Something we miss. And we wish this wasn’t real. And we take it all back. The things we said. That make us feel like this. And we wish we didn't feel We’d give it all away Just to have somewhere to go to We’d give it all away Just to have someone To come home to This is our Winter kill This is our dead dream This is us pretending This is all we need	This is our Winter kill This is all to real This is our Winter kill This is how we feel This is our Winter kill This is our pain filled heart. This is our Winter kill. This is us falling apart. And we wish we didn't feel the pain of what we miss And we wish to heal. And we take it all back The things we’ve done And make us feel like this And we wish we didn't feel A need to give our heart away Just to have somewhere to go to Giving it all away Just to have someone To come home to This is our Winter kill This is our dead dream This is us pretending This is all we need This is the Winter kill This is us - giving it all away Just to have somewhere to go This is the Winter kill This is us - wishing we had Somewhere to call Home
2012.06.01 @  0330

{ she and we are in the house, but a house is not a home...}