SHADOWS, PAIN, AND RAGE

Woke up in someone else's skin

    again this morning -
        Don't know exactly who we are.
We should heed our therapists warnings,
     They do the best with us they can

They say we suffer from "the pain",
     We're quite confident it's shame.
It could be the cumulative effects,
     Of the skars and rain...  
Shadows, Pain, And Rage...  oh.

If you see us in the corner,

     We're just dancing in the rain.
We see that like a broken window,
   A point of view is pain.

Woke up in a strangers house

     again this morning -
Don't know exactly who we are.
We should heed our therapists advice,
     They do the best work that they can.

With our Shadows, Pain, and Rage.

2021.07.07 @ 2350

Deep Dark Sea

(unsent letters to CJM trilogy, part 05)

Every time we do this . . .
We think of her

Pain after wave after pain
It's all for her
We know this can't be wrong we said
And we lied to ourself keep her happy
As long as we knew that she knew
That today of all days she belonged
Right here with us
Right here with us...
And so we watched the sun come up

From the edge of our deep dark sea
And we listened to her, like our head was on fire
Like she believed in "us"
So we tried
Held our hands out to the moon
And surrendered
Always hoping...  
"We'd" be here forever
And "we'd" never say goodbye...

We've never been so
Colourfully-see-through-transparent before
We've never been,
We've never been so . . .
Wonderfully-we-want-so-much-more
And all we wanted was to keep it like this
You and us alone
A secret kiss
To not go home
To not go away
Don't let this end.  . .
We begged, please stay
Not just for today. . . 
Never never never never never let us go we said
Hold us like this for five hundred thousand million days
But suddenly she slowed
And looked down at our breaking face
"Why do you cry? This is "our" end"

So we fake smiled -

Brushing our tears away...
We wish she never called a stop
We knew this moment would break our heart. . .
Too many tears
Too many times
Too many years we've cried over this
Over this
Over you
How much more can we can we take?
Being bled dry?
Wishing for something forever gone
But something we will always want?
Why why why did you let "us" go?, we say
When Taco said we were the one you needed...
And just as we're breaking free. . .
She hangs herself in front of our mind
Slips her sun dress like a flag to the floor
And hands in the sky surrenders it all...
We wish this all would just stop
We know another second will break our heart. . .
Too many tears

Too many times
Too many days we've cried for you

It's always the same
Wake up in pain
Tears like rain
Hang our head in shame
A different name
Same old game
We loved in vain
And miles and miles and miles and miles and miles away from a "home" again.

2021.07.07 @ 0315

fell in love

(unsent letters to CJM trilogy, part 04)

We felt your mind,
And you made us smile.
For a little while. . .
And we fell in love.

We saw your heart,
And you touched our soul.
Although it took a short while. . .
We fell in love.

Now we see your eyes, 
And it makes us cry. 
For a short while. . .
"We" were in love.

And now we see. . .

We were the only one in love. 

2021.07.07 @ 0220