LONELY NOW

LONELY NOW -

On the day you slipt away from us -

We remember all the little things,

When you hugged us and said “we're” OK.

We can still feel you in everything -

Every movie “we” saw, every song “we” played, every time we hear your name. . .

We pray - 

For rain.

It's a little too lonely now -

It's a little harder every day -

We'll face this storm -

'Til the world is gone - 

Dark rainbows and dead dreams.

It's a little too lonely now -

And no time will heal this skar -

We'll shout at the Godz - 

‘Cos we are the lunatic fringe - 

Wishing for what could have been.

It's a little too lonely.

On the night you walked away from “us” -

We remember all the details,

When you shrugged and said too bad.

We can still feel you in everything -

Every trip, every concert, every night brings back the memories . . .

We close our eyes -

Praying for rain.

It's a little too lonely now -

It's a little harder every day -

We'll face this storm -

'Til the world is gone - 

Dark rainbows and dead dreams.

It's a little too lonely now -

And no time will heal this skar -

We'll shout at the Godz - 

‘Cos we’re on the lunatic fringe - 

Wishing for what could have been.

It's a little too lonely.

It's a little too . . .

It's a little too quiet . . .

Now it's a little too lonely.

Hoping the rain will wash away the pain.

2023.12.04 @ 0245

¿TONIGHT, ARE YOU TAKING US HOME?

Said hello in the dark
Did we show too much?
Of our thumping heart -
When "our" fingers touched.
We nearly lost our mind -
Taking your hand in ours.

Music fading in the dark -

Are you hoping for more?
Sliding closer to us -
Made a flame from just a spark.
We lost our mind -
With just your hand in ours.

Tonight, are you taking us home -

Amazed by how fast "our" connection has grown -

To feel your lips move -

To hear your voice moan -

Tonight, are you taking us home?

They're closing all the bars -

On this quiet street.

No one else around -

It's just you and us.

As the city starts to sleep -

Dreams when "our" glances meet.

You look deep inside our eyes -

We see the same desire reflected back.

What "we're" thinking is way to clear - 

You say that it's time to go.

You turn away -

Waiting for us to say. . .

Tonight, are you taking us home -

Amazed by how fast "our" connection has grown -

To feel your lips move -

To hear your voice moan -

Tonight.

[Bridge]

Tonight, are you taking us home?

Just for tonight. . .

To see your hips move -

To give us somethin'. . . new

Tonight

2023.09.15 @ 0515

Burning Bridge(s)

 

{ unsent letters to CJM trilogy. . . part 06 }

We had a dream about a burning bridge.
We were in the middle, we couldn’t escape.
We held onto the memory of “us”,
as the two of “us” went up in a puff of smoke.
It seems our love for you, just wasn’t enough,
you did “us” wrong.
But we will stay with you –
until this dream is gone.

We’ve been sleepwalking –
We wander every night.
Tryna take what was lost and broke,
And make it right.
We’ve been tight rope walking –
playing with gas and fire.
But it’s the only place,
That we’re allowed to hold you tight . . .
On this burning bridge.

We see you at the V, and we feel astranged.
We would take you back.
Even knowing that people can not change,
Wish that “we” could go back in time,
and be the one Taco told you to find.
Our love turned out to just not be enough,
you did “us” wrong.
But we will hold onto you –
until this dream is gone.

We’ve been sleepwalking –
We wander every night.
Tryna take what was lost and broke,
And somehow make it right.
We’ve been tight rope walking –
and playing with gas and fire.
But this is the only place,
That we’re allowed to hold you tight . . .
On this burning bridge.

This burning. . . fucking. . . bridge. . .

2021.11.27 @ 0045

SHADOWS, PAIN, AND RAGE

Woke up in someone else's skin

    again this morning -
        Don't know exactly who we are.
We should heed our therapists warnings,
     They do the best with us they can

They say we suffer from "the pain",
     We're quite confident it's shame.
It could be the cumulative effects,
     Of the skars and rain...  
Shadows, Pain, And Rage...  oh.

If you see us in the corner,

     We're just dancing in the rain.
We see that like a broken window,
   A point of view is pain.

Woke up in a strangers house

     again this morning -
Don't know exactly who we are.
We should heed our therapists advice,
     They do the best work that they can.

With our Shadows, Pain, and Rage.

2021.07.07 @ 2350

Deep Dark Sea

(unsent letters to CJM trilogy, part 05)

Every time we do this . . .
We think of her

Pain after wave after pain
It's all for her
We know this can't be wrong we said
And we lied to ourself keep her happy
As long as we knew that she knew
That today of all days she belonged
Right here with us
Right here with us...
And so we watched the sun come up

From the edge of our deep dark sea
And we listened to her, like our head was on fire
Like she believed in "us"
So we tried
Held our hands out to the moon
And surrendered
Always hoping...  
"We'd" be here forever
And "we'd" never say goodbye...

We've never been so
Colourfully-see-through-transparent before
We've never been,
We've never been so . . .
Wonderfully-we-want-so-much-more
And all we wanted was to keep it like this
You and us alone
A secret kiss
To not go home
To not go away
Don't let this end.  . .
We begged, please stay
Not just for today. . . 
Never never never never never let us go we said
Hold us like this for five hundred thousand million days
But suddenly she slowed
And looked down at our breaking face
"Why do you cry? This is "our" end"

So we fake smiled -

Brushing our tears away...
We wish she never called a stop
We knew this moment would break our heart. . .
Too many tears
Too many times
Too many years we've cried over this
Over this
Over you
How much more can we can we take?
Being bled dry?
Wishing for something forever gone
But something we will always want?
Why why why did you let "us" go?, we say
When Taco said we were the one you needed...
And just as we're breaking free. . .
She hangs herself in front of our mind
Slips her sun dress like a flag to the floor
And hands in the sky surrenders it all...
We wish this all would just stop
We know another second will break our heart. . .
Too many tears

Too many times
Too many days we've cried for you

It's always the same
Wake up in pain
Tears like rain
Hang our head in shame
A different name
Same old game
We loved in vain
And miles and miles and miles and miles and miles away from a "home" again.

2021.07.07 @ 0315

fell in love

(unsent letters to CJM trilogy, part 04)

We felt your mind,
And you made us smile.
For a little while. . .
And we fell in love.

We saw your heart,
And you touched our soul.
Although it took a short while. . .
We fell in love.

Now we see your eyes, 
And it makes us cry. 
For a short while. . .
"We" were in love.

And now we see. . .

We were the only one in love. 

2021.07.07 @ 0220

Walked Away

(unsent letters to CJM trilogy, part 03)

you just walked away -
and we really got no say.
it wouldn't have mattered anyway -
it wouldn't have changed how you feel.

we we're the one you chose -
started as debate foes.
devil of a detail we suppose -
'cuz now we're left here to heal.

some of the things you say -
leave people in disarray.
the transactional games you play -
make us wonder if your love was real.

when it was just us and you -
there was nothing "we" couldn't do.
if "we" could have just made it through -
the derby day deal...

But then everything changed up -
If we could - turn back the clock -
If you could - learn to forgive "us" -
Then we could feel.

if you could just walk away -
what does that really say -
but it doesn't matter anyway -
you never cared how we feel

2021.06.23 @ 0230